untanned

i finally had to break down and do it, people. i didn't want to. i've fought it for a long time, but i guess i have to cave in and do what i know is best.

i'm going to quit going to the tanning bed.

no, i didn't have a cancer scare. i didn't wake up with a sun spot the size of a gnome on my forehead. i didn't even get a really bad burn that made me yelp when i walked.

it's economical, mostly. even though i work in a skincare industry part-time and i see regretful clients who are trying to undo their own skin damage all the time, i wasn't swayed. i like the way i look tanned. my skin behaves better tanned. i feel like i look thinner when i'm tanned. and i despise self tanner.

i've been a tanner since high school. not always faithfully, but it's been a long time since i've actually let myself pale out. already i feel pasty and my skin has staged a revolt against me. i fight off the urge to flop myself on that glass and let the lights work their magic.

i know that i'm taking a big step in the anti-aging process. i know it'll be better for me in the long run. however, i'm gonna be more reluctant to show my legs and arms every summer. i'm going to miss that sun-kissed glow that makes me look healthy and fools everyone into thinking i actually get outdoors sometimes.

yes, tanning bed, you and i are having a messy split. we can't get together for one last hurrah. it's just too difficult. i'm going to have to go cold turkey.